Hope.. Disappointment.. Pain

I managed to get through the whole day like normal, like nothing has happened.. only one of my closer colleague knew what happened, and I can still joke with her when I told her the story..

But when Jun, Xuan and Mei asked me what happened, the tears cannot stop.. It fucking hurts.. It hurts coz I know it hurts them to see me like so..

I'm trying to cope.. I'm trying to manage.. I'm just trying to go on like nothing has happened.. but it did happened, and not only once.. one bitten, twice shy.. and it's not even twice, there may be so many more times that I do not know about.

He always say he knows me well, that one look at me and he can tell what I'm thinking.. WELL I know him well too, I knew something was up, I just knew it.. and I had to go find out because I was stupid enough to hope that I can prove myself wrong. So stupid.. Hope is for the naive, I'm nearing 30, I should had known better. It's so so stupid of me.

No Hope = No Disappointment = No Pain

Silence is golden, ignorance is bliss.. I really do not want to know anything else.. no more..