Friday, January 27, 2006

Passionate? Me?

The answer is a clear no.. especially when it comes to work. Repeating a old story, work is just a means to earn money for the other things I go for life, like good food. I'm passionate when it comes to good food, I'm not passionate when it comes to work.

I can be passionate at work, but that's like maybe 1% of the time, the other 50% I'm just treating work like work and the rest of the time I'm just sianz. I find it hard to be passionate at work, not when work is mostly not recognized and we have to endure all sorts of shit. If I suddenly have a windfall, I would quit immediately and do the things that I really want to do, being in a cosy room and reading all day long. Yes, that's life. And if I really have a truck-load of money.. hmm.. make that a hundred truckload of money, I would start a tv series/movie of the Night Dawn's series.

I can already envision the special effects, the spaceships, antimatter. But who should I get to play Joshua? Brad Pitt? But somehow I feel that he's not sauve enough, and there's already too many sterotypes attached to him. Must get someone fresh to play this role. Else will make it into a animated series, with Final Fantasy kinda level of details. Wow, that's something that I will be passionate in. Not what I'm doing now.

I'm never much of a public speaker, I'm anti-social, I don't like to interact with people that I do not know. So training is really not my cup of tea, I don't have the passion for it. I don't crave to teach, coz I like to know more things than other people.

I'm very happy at all the chances that my boss is giving me, I'm very happy that she wants to groom me. She even promised to push me up when there is a headcount in the department. But I guess deep down, I don't feel like I belong to this job. I'm just here to pass time, this is not what I really want to do. Then the question would be, what is it that I really want to do? That I do not have an answer, and I guess it will be a "moving answer", one that's constantly changing.

Maybe it's time to start looking for another job. I should not waste the chances my boss is giving me, someone else deserves it more than I do.

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