I always choose the out of focus lifestyle, I'm never really sure where I'm going but that doesn't bother me much coz I do have a general direction to go in life.
Recently I started to focus too much on work, I see things too clearly and I start to mind a lot of things, that's the reason for all the angry posts, I take things very personally and when they don't go right, I get very angry. This have to stop, I'm getting wrinkles from all the frowns.. This is the reason why I always choose to view things in a out of focus matter, to stop myself from drowning. When I focus, I start seeing the tiniest details, I get overwhelmed with everything and I get very angry when little things go wrong. And once I get angry, nothing can be done coz I would not be able to think straight.
But being out of focus does not mean that I'm not serious about my work, it's just that I don't want to put in some much of myself that I lose track who I am. Different people have different ways of holding on to themselves, most choose religion, I dun believe in God's love for us, I believe in God but for a omnipotent being to care for each and everyone of us? I don't think it's feasible, it's like us caring for the millions of ants, it's just not possible.
The way to keep myself grounded is to be serious and yet out of focus.. I know it does not sound like it makes sense.. But it does to me, and that's all it really matters.