Thursday, January 19, 2006


This is a very interesting article that I've found.. talks about the third party in a relationship..

Excerpts from the article..


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Love and relationship.. yes, I've been thinking a lot about it recently.. So many ideals, all striving to be the ONE ideal. But we are humans, love to us is just a feeling. I've mentioned before, I don't trust feelings, coz feelings change, too often, too fast.

The idea of a third party. People usually blame the third party, for breaking up the couple/family, but have they realised that it takes two hands to clap. If the one in the relationship is not ready to let go, would the third party have a chance?

I broke up with Vincent coz of Darren, but way before Darren came along, we already had our problems, and it's a whole load of problems, together with the fact that we never understood each other. We were together coz I liked him and he knew that I liked him. We hardly knew each other and I liked him coz he reminded me of someone else.. That's a bad start, and that's why it had a swift ending.

At many times, the third party has a very important role to play, s/he shows you just how much the relationship means to you. Man are man, we never know how to cherish something till we lose it, or almost lose it. The third party comes along and pushes you, makes you realise that the relationship means the world to you, or that it means shite. Things can always go both ways, it depends on how you control the situation.

People like to experiment, like to try out new things. Going out with someone else can sometimes make you appreciate the one you are going out with more. Trust me, first hand experience. You will realise that you have something so good that if you let it go, you can never find something just as good. Well that applies most of the time. Sometimes the opposite happens and you realise that the one outside is much better. Then that's a signal to move on..

But a word of caution.. cheating is not right. It's hard on the cheater and the cheatee. So don't try it unless you're prepared to lose everything. Of course the thrill is there, but think of the consequences.. It's not that fun afterall. It's never fun to hurt someone.

「第三者不是後來才認識的那個人,不被愛的人才是第三者,因為那是多出來的啊。」 This is so true.. It does not matter whether you came first or later, what matters is that the other person is in love with you. If he does not love you anymore, so what if you had been together since god knows when? The fact is the person does not love and care about you anymore. That's a signal that he's not the one. If he is the one, he will not break your heart into tiny little pieces.

When there are three persons in a relationship, it's high time to learn to let go. There's never any happiness from forcing someone to be with you (it took me darn long to understand that, but now I do), there may not be happiness from letting go either. But at least you know that you gave the other party a chance to be happy. Why let everyone be miserable? Learn to let go.

Of course it's always easier said than done.. Letting go is like the most important thing that we should know but school never teaches us. In fact no one can teach us how to let go, we have to stumble and learn on our own. It's hard, very hard. And till now I still have not learnt how to let go totally..

I've drifted from my topic.. oh well... typical :p

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