Friday, July 15, 2005


was with my uncle on his final journey yesterday and the night before and it's really a new experience for me.. ..

events leading to the funeral..

my mum received a frantic call from my aunt, asking how my dad was.. turned out that there was a misunderstanding, my aunt tot my dad fell down and was in hospital but it turned out to be a case of wrong identity as my cousin has the same name as my sister.

a few more rounds of call and we got the news that my uncle passed away shortly after he was admitted to the hospital.. another person gone jus like that..

I'm not that close to this uncle of mine, but I remember him every chinese new year, where he'll call me 小美人.. and my aunt will call me 小可爱.. now her husband is gone jus like that.. he's only 55.. jus abit older than my dad :(

went down to the funeral on wed and it was so different from the ones that i've attended in the recent years.. a few years back, my dad's brother passed away (incidentally after he fell too).. we were never too close to the relatives on my father's side (bad blood coz of money, what's new?? they are evil bastards, except for my ah ma, ah gong and third aunt), so it was go and show face thing.. went for the cremation, only thing i can think of, is it over yet? then it's my mum's sister's husband's funeral.. was a buddhist funeral, had vegetarian food, monks praying.. was not emotionally involved as I really dunno this uncle of mine, hardly saw him before.. went along as my mum asked us to.. the other recent funeral i went to was Jason's friend's funeral. This funeral is a Christian funeral, first time I've attended one.. It scared me.. coz of several reasons.. first, his friend was my age.. so young.. (she also died coz of a fall) and we got to see her body and it's my first time since a long time that i saw a corpse.. she's so young.. and the whole atmosphere was very still.. no prayers, no kids running about, no bands.. jus a bunch of people sitting around tables and looking so darn sad.. I felt so relieved when we went off, the whole atmosphere was jus so suffocating..

This funeral is another buddhist funeral.. but was different from the last one as my uncle was some "Tan Zu", which is some clan thing i guess.. they have alot of weird weird customs like instead of putting plams together to pray, they have this thing called "ko shou"(two hands interlocking in a way i dunno how to describe).

It's abit bad but i had fun at the funeral with my niece and nephew.. my niece is this bubbly 5 year old girl called Gladys and my nephew is this cute 8 year old boy² called Shawn. Have another little nephew but not much chance to play with him.. these two really kept me and my mei busy, asking for this and that, wanna play with this and that, wanna go here and there.. really hyperactive, but darn cute..

Especially gladys, she'll just stick to me and yiyi-this-yiyi-that.. so so so cute!!! really make me think of how great it will be to have a little girl of my own.. I'm never really good with kids, but gladys is really making me change my mind :p hope that's a good thing :)

Cremation was over at Mandai Crematorium.. first time i was there and the place really looks great.. honest.. it feels kinda like a church.. it's a very grand-looking building with grand-looking interiors..

All along, i was abit sad as this was my uncle's funeral and I find him ok.. but when the coffin was being pushed into the furnance, emotions started coming hard and fast.. everyone was so sad, especially his immediate family.. It hit me at that moment that he is really gone and his body is going to be burnt.. I wanted to cry but i held back my tears, for whatever reason, I do not know..

the cremation ceremony affected my mood quite abit, so dear², sorry for not really bothering about you last nite.. :(

But life still goes on, what is gone is gone.. Life is harsh, we must learn to move on.. I can only pray ernestly that my uncle will rest in peace in wherever he is now.. *bows head in respect* also hope that my aunt and cousins can learn to accept life and go on with their own lives, knowing that my uncle is in a good place now.

Rest In Peace

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