So tired of pretending..

I'm really tired of constantly pretending.. pretending to be interested in things which I have no interest in at all..

It's not that I don't like my job, but these days, it really gets to me. Honestly I don't see the value of what I'm doing and I have no idea how the heck it can help people, maybe I'm just the typical cynical Singaporean, we never see the value in training.

I'm just very tired to have to pretend I enjoy what I am doing. To me a job is a job, my job is not my life, my life is not defined by my job.

If you love your job, then you don't have to work a single day in your life. But I'm not as lucky as my friend, I still haven found a job that I really have passion in. My job is just the means to an end, that's it. I enjoy it at times, but most times are like now and I really don't like it.

I dunno.. I really dunno what I want. All I know is it's hard to be honest in this day and age, everyday, everyone is wearing a mask to face the world.. It's tiring to keep pretending.. I just want to be myself.

But then.. am I sure that the myself I want to show is really myself?

Life is but a game, where we pretend to be someone we never were.