I’ve never wanted an ordinary life, yet my greatest joy comes from the most ordinary things in life.
It’s tiring to be me, too much contradictions and too many masks. At times I dun even know who I am.
There was a time where I believed that I could be myself, no mask, no pretending, just being myself through and through… and then I realized just how naïve I was. There’s no such thing as being yourself, there’s always roles to fit in , characters to act out. Even when you’re alone, you try to be the person which you want to be and not the person you really are.
I’ve been in limbo for the longest time, over the one issue that can make or break it all. I still cannot make the decision and sooner or later, something will come along and force my hand. My decision will be something which a lot of people cannot accept, but they are not me, how they even start to comprehend how I feel? I’ve been playing many roles and I know my limits, that particular role is something which I cannot excel in, I’m just not made out for it.
Evolution has its way of weeding out the weak. I was never a strong person to start with.
I just have to be prepared when everything starts to crumble.
Will you be with me when it happens?