...

I dun really like myself a lot right now, everyone seems to think I'm a pushover and I am acting in the same way.. But the thing is, I'm not a pushover, I only let people get their way because it makes life easier. I dun think the way they do things are right and I dun think I should be helping them all the time, but sometimes there really is no choice and if I dun help them, who would?

I can jolly well stand up to people for myself, I really dun need any help. She's mean and impatient, I know that; she's rude to be, I know that too; I'm just letting her get her way coz we need to cooperate with each other. I dun wanna make things difficult coz we still have to work with each other.

I'm sick of people using me for their own means.. if you have beef with her, that's your problem, not mine. Dun come make it my problem ok. She's a bitch, yah I know that, so? Do you honestly expect me to go tell her off, and then what? Look at each other funny for the rest of the time we work together?

I hate bullshit but some people are just shit and we just have to live with it.

This is the very first year that I haven't got a present for myself.. nothing.. nothing at all.. it's depressing.. it really is..

I'm so fucked.. fucked up.. bloody fucked up..