Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Feeling lost

Whenever I'm faced with shocking news, I feel lost.. Like the time when Ah Dear got admitted to A&E, I was so shocked that I did nothing for hours. I did not know how to react, I did not know what I should do.

Today I'm faced with a similiar situation, a dear friend's father is in hospital. It was a shock, sometimes we like to believe that the people around us are going to be with us forever, we think that things will always go on the way it is and will never change.

How wrong can we be? Very.

He's in a coma since thursday, I've only known about today.

I feel so lost, so helpless. There is this dear man who was kind to me, and yet at this time when he needs help the most, there's nothing I can do. Nothing.

Life is so fragile.

I can't be with my friend right now, I dunno what to say to him. I can't help his father right now, I'm not a miracle worker. I can only pray, pray for him.

I want to be the one to give him support right now, but I'm not in the position to do so. I want to help but I can't.

Maybe I should go visit? But I hate hospitals, I hate the smell of medicine, I hate the stench of illness, I hate the thoughts that people's loved ones are dying there.

I can't bear to go visit, I might just break down and cry.

It's bad enough that he have to be strong, I don't want to burden him any more than necessary.

Please help me pray for his recovery.. God please let him wake up, he's a good man that loved his wife and sons, he's a good man that helps the church whenever he can, he's a good man that gave his all to the things he believed in. God please help me.

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