Monday, September 19, 2005

I'm affected

by the things that had been happening around me recently..

I know Ah dear will always be there for me when I need him but.. but.. It's not that I don't trust him, or I don't trust myself, sometimes things just have a way of happening without warning, without any chance of salvaging the situation. That is what is scaring me.

I keep thinking that something bad is going to happen.. Maybe it's coz things are just too good now, everything went on very smoothly, things are happening just the way they should be, it becomes scary coz something bad always happens, and I don't want bad things to happen right now.

I'm just being paranoid.. But looking at the things that had been going on around me, to the people around me, I really can't help to be scared. Even Ah dear's friend, with a solid relationship of more than 7 years can just go bust without warning, what to say about me and Ah Dear's relationship of less than a year?

Me and Darren did not had problems when we broke up, only reason for breaking up was that he felt that his feelings had changed. That's it. People change so fast, without warning at all. That's what's scary to me.

I put alot into this relationship, I'm worried it might not have an happy ending.. I may be paranoid but shit always happens, one way or another. I really dunno what to do if the shit really hits the fans.

I better start counting my blessings everyday and hope that life is really good to me this time round.

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